Senseless pictures really, but things that I'd rather not delete.
When I see them, may sakit, may kurot. Pictures that really make me pause for a little while when scrolling through my photos.
They're remnants of ordinary, everyday things, but those that come with a special feeling. A nostalgia for a certain space in time where you suddenly see, hear, feel, taste, and smell every detail from those sweet memories.
This is the view from my window on the 12th floor of a condo building in Manila. Every morning, every afternoon, and every evening I see this. In fact, I have several pictures of this view, but on this day I woke up late in the afternoon to find the sky an interesting shade of orange-ish pink, which coated Manila's buildings with a blood orange colour. It was quite magical for me. I texted him in excitement of sharing what I had seen, and to my delight I received a fervent reply. It gave me the impression that things went well. I had only met him the night before. We made on-the-spot plans to meet that night, and he picked me up from one of my favourite coffee shops in Quezon City. We dropped by Burger King to talk for a while and get to know each other. That night I met a handsome, witty, intellectual guy who was easy to talk to and kept up great conversation. He brought me home before the sun rose, and as I woke up the colour of my world magically matched the elation I had felt within.
The Pit, Asturias. Often an inuman place. Sometimes my classmates and I go here for lunch, or if blessed with an early dismissal (or perhaps class suspensions) a few buckets of beer accompany us. A few drinks to finish off the day has always been a good idea, and trying out the new Antonov seemed like a good alternative to the tummy-bloating Red Horse or San Mig. I took a picture of the Cosmopolitan and the Kamikaze because of the awesome shades of pink and green that they came in (not to mention they tasted good too!). Also managed to get his elbow in the picture. This is the third time I met him. Training was cut short on that day because of the monsoon. He told me he was at Starbucks in Dapitan and I coyly asked if I could join him. We decided to try the dish he told me about the last time we went out. I felt safe that we could share a common territory: Dapitan. As we shared second-hand smoke outside Starbucks, he asked me to accompany him the following night to a party he was going to with his high school friends. Panic and kilig collided inside my stomach and sent shivers down my spine. I felt special that he wanted me to meet his high school friends already, but my social phobias kept me weary. I swallowed that fear and gave a resounding, "Sure, of course."
On my last birthday, two awesome friends gave me a bottle of my favourite alcohol, Baileys. It came with two cool glasses like the one here. It isn't filled with Baileys, however, that's Gataka. Gatas, Tanduay, Kape. He offered to make "Baileys" for me and my friends then. My friends really liked him. They thought he was charming, cute, and really knew how to get along. Well I don't think I would have liked him as much if he wasn't, right? I was tearing myself up that night. I had been doubting for weeks whether he liked me or not. We had plans to see each other for a little bit after his meeting in the afternoon. I waited all afternoon at my friend's place for his update. I waited, staring at my phone until the sun disappeared, dinner was served, and the hour hand passed 9 P.M. I was telling myself to give up on him. This was affirmation of everything I was thinking, of the things that I was scared of confirming: that he wasn't into me, that I wasn't the one. I convinced myself to forget about him if we didn't see each other that night. As I was nearing the breaking point, my phone flashed a message at 21:59. He had finally texted, and the usual butterflies in my stomach, ventricular arrhythmia, automatic smile, and feeling of "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeh" came as his name graced my home screen (as it always does). His meeting at 2 P.M. lasted until almost 10 P.M. I had assumed that it was too late for him to come over, but he gave me a call. We invited him over, knowing that he couldn't be out for too late. He ended up staying till morning, spending the night in my arms.
